“Saya tidak peduli bagaimana rambut, wajah dan cara berpakaian saya ketika ini. Ini adalah kebenaran yang mungkin ramai cuba nafikan atau mendengar ahli keluarga berkata, ‘bertenang kerana semua itu tidak benar’. Anda juga tidak tahu mengapa ia terjadi, apakah kerana kita lemah atau mengada-ada?
“Sebenarnya, tidak kerana minda, tubuh dan semua yang ada tidak lagi seperti diri kita yang dahulu. Anda mungkin berfikir akan jadi lebih sekiranya cukup tidur. Tetapi, semua yang berlaku ini di luar jangkaan. Ia bermain dengan emosi dan menyebabkan saya penat. Saya tidak menangis, kecuali jika ia terlalu melukakan.”
Breaking down and tired from anxiety
Those who have it can relate. I dont care how my hair or face or clothes look like right now — this is the raw truth that many people have tried to deny themselves of, family members saying “it’s not real, chill” or you yourself saying “i dont know why, am i weak? Am i just mengada?” No dear — your mind, your body, your everything will just sweat, shake, hyperventilate, heart racing at random times and for no reason and you feel helpless. You think – hm, maybe if i have enough sleep i’d be better. Maybe if i have enough food i’d be better. But this thing is unpredictable. It plays with your emotions, and right now im tired. See I dont cry. I dont. Only when it hurts to my core. But not being able to breathe for so many days is so scary and is sooooo frustrating. My chest hurts from overextending the breathing. I would never dream of making a video crying like a baby and show it to the world. But it’s important to speak about mental health that affects so many others. I share because in malaysia this is not shared, people go thru it in silence, don’t be shy to seek help from a professional, an ustaz who is experienced and who can share steps to manage the overwhelming experience — some have suffered for 10-20 years in silence and it’s not fair. So ill be open and try some solutions given by so many good hearted people. Just know that panic attacks can turn to anxiety attacks which can also turn into other forms of mental instabilities so find your channel, your solution and spread your way of getting better. Maybe someone going through it now will be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Manakala melihat kepada ruangan komen, para peminatnya mendoakan kesihatannya serta nasihat. Malah ada juga berkongsi pengalaman pernah mengadapi penyakit itu.
